Stop tormenting me!!!!

What is he trying to do really?? Is he trying to make me hate him?? I can't...never will be.. He was so angry at me tonite once he knew I'm getting engaged soon...he accused me of using him, of playing him for a fool....oh my honey bunch, I did love you with all my heart, and I think I'm still in love with you, but I have made a decision...that hurts me and you more...I am not sure why...but this is just how things are...please dont be too angry with me...I dont understand why suddenly he's bursting with anger and hatred towards me immensely...He blames me for everything..yeah I know I'm to blamed!! He hates me...yeah I know I deserve to be hated by him!!! but it tore my heart with his cruel words towards me...he is just being a nasty jerk...being immature, unreasonable, childish...he's just hurt...I'm hurt...everybody's hurt...I'm still going to marry this guy...and I'll keep you in my heart, honey...call me stupid, call me sellfish...I'm just...I'm out of words....

He says he's gonna make me suffer...wonders what he's gonna do to make my life misserable..will he tell everybody that we kissed??that he sucked my tits?? that I sucked his dick till he cum?? that we had phone sex every two days?? I cant imagine what he's capable of doing...what kind of monster he is....or isnt he...I just dont know...have to expect the worse...but still hoping for the best....damn!! dammit..I still love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!